Two days ago I signed a contract with the devil. Okay, no big deal. Well little did I know, but in the smallest of sizes, the Devil had written "By signing this, you agree that you are a necrophilac and love to dance everytime you touch the keys on your Computer! lolololololololo ROFL LOL! Hax.....". Well, of course I didn't see it cause it was written really small. So now, not only does pictures of dead people turn me on, but I can't use my computer or I will dance. How is dancing hard? Heh, let me tell you.

Two months ago, I was at a bar. Now this wasn't any ordanary bar. This bar was filled with magic users. (No wonder the sign was read "Magic and beer"). So as I sat on a barstool, ordering my chocolate milk, a man walked up to me and said, "He doesn't like you!". He chuckled at his own little star wars qoute, but I turned to him and punched him in the gut. After awhile of rolling on the ground, he stood up and used a spell on me. "What the hell!?", I yelled out. He then explained that if I were to ever dance again, I get punched by a chicken....How I got to the bar you ask? Well, let me explain.

Two years ago I was walking down the side walk, coming back from the local K mart. There was a man sitting at the corner of the side walk where the only light for three miles was shinning it's brightest. People were handing him money, like he was a bum. Well, I somehow had a 50 in my wallet and I thought it was a 5 so I gave it to the guy. He followed me for about 2 more minutes before thanking me. I was to weirded out to say anything. So I went home and looked through my wallet. Then the ghost of the not-dead-yet-David-Bowie came to me and said, "Why did you give that man a 50 dollar bill?". I replied, "What? I gave him a 5.". David Bowie laughed and called me an idiot and opened up a portal in the air, showing me that I did give him a 50. I was mad as hell (obviously). But I needed to sleep so I passed out. When I woke up (I would create a new paragraph but this story shall run on forever!) I went to look for the man. I looked everywhere and he was no-where to be found. So I went to the nearest drug dealer I could find and told him about the story. He told me of a man I could find that could help me. So I was given directions (purposely not posting them for safety reasons) and I found this man. I am not allowed to speak of his name but I can tell you this, he had three eyes. One on the back of his head, least, that's what he said. Anyway, he told me how to find the man. But if he were to help me, I would have to help him....What did I have to you ask? Okay, here we go.

About....two decades ago, back in 1986, there was man by the name of Soel Tryog. Don't bother looking that name up, there are a lot of impersonators out there. He was a killer and very good singer. My "friend" had me go to this man and fight him in an ultimate duel of Rox, Papperz, Sis0rz, w00t! I cheated. He was blind, and I picked Rox while he picked Papperz, so I told him I picked Sis0rz. In any case, he shot himself for losing. So when I went back to my friend, he told me where to find "the man". I set off to find him in Germany, where he worked as a coal miner. When I came to the man, he just looked at me and said "Thanks.". I told him I needed my 50 back. He told me I only gave him 5 dollars. I walked up closer to him to push him but as I did, more coal miners surrounded me and one hit me with a shovel. Where did I wake up you ask? Just hold on, I am getting to that.

So about...two Generations later, I woke up in a cave. I couldn't tell where I was at first. As I walked out, three miners approached me. They were sorry for what they done and the man that took my 50 also took my 5 while I was knocked out. That son of a bitch. He also was taking over some parts of the "underground" as they called it. Welp, I followed the miners who brought me to the underground. It was filled with your normal stuff you seen on tv. Mutant people, turtle people, and rat people. I snuck inside the fortress this man has built for himself. I walked down his red carpet to approach him. He then gave me an offer, to take his ID, or for me to die. I was gonna kill him, but I wasn't gonna mess with a bunch of Mutants and Rat people, so I took the ID and used it to get into the bar.

Hope that story has opened up the door to your heart.